ummm... thought i'd better write something since there's now a link to this page?????
hmmm... nothing really in my brain today. maybe i'll post a pic instead.

book

currently reading "Parenting for a Peaceful World" by Robin Grille. wow. i can feel it changing my world as i flip the pages over one by one.

i have this longing in my heart that constantly resurfaces. i can not shake it and i can not put it to sleep. i want the oppression in Burma to end. i want the child sex slave industry in asia to collapse. i want the slaughter in africa to stop. i want the abuse of aboriginal children to finish. i want rich humans to stop plundering our environment. i want the kingdom of God to come on earth as it is in heaven.

could it be that we can create either heaven or hell on earth by the way we treat our children?

Grille argues that child rearing practices have affected societies and international affairs throughout history including the rise of Hitler and Stalin. He walks through history and shows how common parenting practices are an incredibly accurate indicator of what that society will become.

Grille outlines six different parenting modes (from worst to best). The first 4 are highly abusive and would be illegal in modern Australia. The Growing Kids God's way stuff is quite clearly number 5 (the socialising mode). But everything he is saying about the sixth mode (the helpful mode) is resonating as deeply true.

it would blow you away some of the stuff that was considered normal in other parenting mode eras. like tighlty swaddling babies 24 hours a day until they're 9 months old and stuffing their mouths with rags soaked in flour and water to stop them crying. i will never trust 'common sense' again because these practices (and many others far worse) were considered common sense in many societies for hundreds of years.

Was talking with Grandma last night about babies. She grew up in a children's home herself. She hated it. "I love how you lot love and cuddle your babies," she said, "it's much better". better than what? i didn't want to ask.

can't wait for daddy ellery to read this and hear his perspective.

alfie kohn

"There is a time to admire the grace and persuasive power of an influential idea, and there is a time to fear it's hold over us. The time to worry is when the idea is so widely shared that we no longer even notice it, when it is so deeply rooted that it feels to us like plain common sense. At this point when objections are not even answered any more because they are no longer even raised, we are not in control: we do not have the idea; it has us."

my free speech

was chatting with a mate about 'why blog' the other day. why do i blog? ummmm... it feels healthy? i have a private written journal as well but there is something very releasing about putting it out there on the vast and lonely world wide web. i suppose it's like writing a speech... even if no one comes to listen it's still a valuable process for the speaker to go through...thinking, organizing and presenting thoughts. they say the best way to learn is to teach, so i'll happily teach, even if i'm the only one learning. like screaming a sermon into the desert. it feels good.

my mate wondered if blogs were about feeding ego's... like 'oh.. i wonder how many comments i got today'. maybe, but i don't think so. i'd rather feed my ego by being good a surfing or being really green or having loads of friends. those things are cool. being good at writing is a bit nerdy.

so i think i can safely say that i don't really mind too much how many people read this stuff. (which is probably a good thing because on the cyberspace map this site is not really a Sydney intersection, more of a Meliden culdesac... yes exactly, you don't even know where that is.) but i do love it when close mates do read it and mention it to me later... especially if it's about spiritually stuff. i guess it's nice to know that people care, or are at least willing to engage with me in soul wonderings.

and i suppose in the back of my head i hope that in 20 years time this blog will still be floating around for me to come back to and read, and remember where we were. who knows, dani might even read it one day?

our friends in Burma literally risk their lives to write their blogs.

http://www.ftub.org/
http://www.angelfire.com/ok/NLD/NLD.html

grandma is here.

yesterday she spent the day surrounded by her daughter's family.

i love her so much.

she has the most infectious chuckle.

we having a party for her 86th birthday on sunday. it's her second birthday party in her life. her first one was her 80th.

think i'll go make her a cake.

airport

about to step into one of those weird momentous occasion that I know will be with me for the rest of my life. in a few minutes i’ll be leaving to pick up my Grandma from the airport. if a journalist was writing an article of this there is so many different angles she could take...

Bushwalking in D'Entrecasteaux

Spent last week bushwalking on the Bibbulmun Track from Inlet River Rd to Walpole on the south coast. Overnighted in three of the track huts; Woolbales, Long Point & Mt Clare. Highlights included wading through flooded track sections (sometimes up to knee deep); running from the rain at long point and climbing Mt Clare through the tingle & karri forest. It was an awesome walk with my two compadres. Watching the landscape change from jarrah forest to coastal dunes back to forest again was fascinating and the plenty of wet sections as well as river/creek crossings kept the walk interesting.
I've definitely whetted my appetite for walking in the region. We skirted the Nuyts Wilderness Area which i think will definitely be worth an exploratory hike sometime in the not too distant future...

"pssssss"

Ever wondered what all the mum’s who can’t afford nappies do to keep themselves and their babies clean?

Before Danika was born Case and I were trying to work out which way to go – cloth or disposable? Both seem quite bad for the environment, both seemed either inconvenient or expensive and I never really felt comfortable with the idea of strapping waste to our beautiful baby girl’s bottom.

Then we stumbled across the concept of ‘Elimination Communication’ or ‘Infant Potty Training’.

Basically when ever we think Danika needs to go to the loo we simply hold her over the potty, and when ever she pees we say ‘psssssss’. Over time she is learning than when ever we hold her in that position and say ‘psssssss’ it is time to pee.

How does it work –

The theory is that whilst babies can’t hold on if they need to go, they can release before they’re busting, so the trick is to catch it before it comes out in a non-controlled way (ie. In their nappy or on you!)

Cues –

For pees the best cue so far seems to be timing. Straight after a feed is guaranteed (with Danika). And then 5 mins later, them 10 mins later then it gets a bit hazy. Sometimes if she’s playing on the mat all happy then does a little grizzle I think she might be telling me she needs to pee, but it’s early days and I’m not certain yet.

For poos, I reckon the smell of her fluffs changes just before she needs to go (they smell more like sweet baby poo) and if I put her on the potty to do a wee and she tightens her hammies it’s a good indicator that she needs a bit longer. Also for the last 2 weeks she’s done one poo everyday at about 11.30.

Generally wees take about 10 seconds and poos take about 10 minutes.

So we’re not completely nappy free yet. She still wears them to bed and when we go out.

Some people have asked if it’s a hassle… not really. Time I spend holding her over the potty is time I would otherwise be spending burping her or talking to her and both of these we do while she’s on the potty anyway. I suppose if the phone rings or I want to sweep the floor or something then it’s a bit of a hassle.

The main advantages are;

· It’s fun! In a way only a mother could understand. I love the way we communicate to one another at such a kinaesthetic level.

· It’s much cleaner for her. Even after poos one little wipe and she’s clean.

· Less nappies. The cloth nappies I use in the day are easy to wash because they usually only have one little pee in them (that Danika did while she was in bed) and we only use disposables when we go out (heaps cheaper). I haven’t washed a pooie bottom or nappy for over six weeks (except this morning when I dropped a clean nappy in a dirty potty!)

Disadvantages;

· Sometimes I turn the heater on more because it’s easier to have her bare bottomed.

· I have to clean out the potty (but I’d much rather clean a dirty potty than a dirty bottom!)

· Sometimes other mothers give me strange looks.

So it’s so far so good at this stage. I’m not sure what will happen when she learns to crawl. As she’s getting older she does seem to be going longer between pees so I’m hoping it’s only going to get easier, but who knows. I expect that early toilet training will be a natural consequence of what we're doing but it's not really about toilet training any more than breast feeding is about weaning.

I’ve read on the internet that some western parents who use this method don’t use any nappies right from the start, but we’re not quite there yet. I’ve heard that some non-western mothers think teaching a baby to use his clothes as a toilet is disgusting and weird.

It’s funny how in the west a baby using a potty is such a novel idea that the method even has it’s own name… “Elimination Communication”. But for over half the babies in the world this is just how they go to the toilet.

individuals?

According to what I’ve been reading Danika doesn’t know she’s separate from the rest of the universe yet, and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t know what it means to be separate from God. But then listen to Einstein’s thoughts on adults…

Albert Einstein
”A human being is a part of a whole, called by us 'universe', a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”

Maybe this is what Christ meant when he said ‘childlike faith’.

words

Imagine a life without words…

You wouldn’t be able to give and receive instructions.

You wouldn’t be able to talk on the phone or use a computer.

You wouldn’t be able to articulate the specific bits and pieces of your partner that you like of dislike.

You wouldn’t be able to know that Jesus died and rose again.

You wouldn’t be able to label yourself as male or female.

You wouldn’t be able to label anything.

Words use to seem so important… until I met Danika. She has shown me that words really aren’t that important at all. She has no words, but yet she has everything… including the very presence of God. Because without words she can not take herself out of the present moment, and it is of course only within the very present moment that we can be with God.

“What language do you laugh in what language do you cry in what language do you dance in make romance in what language do you make love in or pray to the above in what language are your fears? What language are your tears?” Michael Franti