so many times i come to this page wanting to blog, but of late it seems non of my experiences worth noting have fitted english words.

i want to blog because i know it's good for me. it brings some mental order, some cognitive equilibrium, it helps me make sense, or at least helps me believe i've made sense.

but somehow the words i use are never very accurate and they never really describe the way connect with the world. the order of my life seems better described through the cellular structure of a sprouting seed than these funny little lines and shapes called letters.

i try to write about God but somehow He is always on the other side of the next sentence and never quite summed up in the last.

beautiful spring morning.
hubby at work.
all is well, except for the massive 9 legged huntsman that's asleep in the hallway.

'it's ok' i tell myself in my best reassuring voice, 'i'm a mature adult, it's one thousandth my size, it's asleep and the poor thing is disabled (9 legs)'. i've even named it 'Herman' because naming your fears makes them less scary.

so far the mornings going well. i'm feeling proud that i'm not being ruled by fear. i've even done a little relaxed reading.

but the tensions rising. i need to pee and Herman's blocking my way to the loo...

albert einstein

the most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. it is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science. whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as good as dead, and his eyes are dimmed. It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion. a knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate, our perceptions of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty, which only in their most primitive forms are accessible to our minds: it is this knowledge and this emotion that constitute true religiosity. in this sense, and only this sense, i am a deeply religious man... i am satisfied with the mystery of life's eternity and with a knowledge, a sense, of the marvellous structure of existence -- as well as the humble attempt to understand even a tiny portion of the Reason that manifests itself in nature.

the opposite of love is not hate...
it is indifference.

albert einstein

"A human being is a part of a whole, called by us 'universe', a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."

every blog i have posted since we've come home i've deleted. maybe this is why?

Home Now

After being home for a couple of weeks now we are readjusting to this life again. We have been left moved by our journey over the past six months and seem to have more questions than answers at this stage. We want to work in development or but are unsure how to go about it. Part of us wants to just wade in somewhere and get stuck in, while another part wants to further study and get a job in the development field. Either way it seems exciting.

'i'm leaving on a jet plane...'

26 hours and counting
can't wait to see you beautiful perth
beautiful friends
beautiful family
beautiful home.

wales

it's early saturday morning. the house is silent. the little welsh town i grew up in seems to still be asleep. i look out the window at a view almost the same as the view of my childhood bedroom window - small mountain to the right, little town below and beyond that the sea. the sea is grey and the sky is grey and they blend into one another, but i'm nice and warm.

saw my grandma and grandad yesterday. love them so much. when we were staying in the orphanage in Kenya i thought about grandma alot. when she was 2 her and her brother were put in an orphange in London. they lived together until they were 11 when they were separated and no longer allowed to see one another. grandma said that broke her and from then on she was a naughty girl. one of her jobs in the orphanage was feeding the babies. they weren't allowed to show any love or affection to the babies, but she didn't care about the rules any more and would sneak them off and cuddle them.

austria

sitting in the hostel, using the free internet!! casey's watching germany verses costa rica in the first game of the world cup. the score's germany - 3, costa rica - 1. our next stop is munich (back in germany). apparently the whole city is completely booked out with soccer nuts and there's no way we'll be able to find accomodation - except for our trusty camping gear which is going to come in very handy.

the last 2 weeks have been a whirl of partying, site seeing and bus trips. quite a change in life style after staying in the children's home. we've met loads of fantastic aussie's that we've become good mates with virtually over night.

we're loving this type of travelling but it's become really obvious that people are kidding themselves if they think travelling around western europe is going to open their mind to what's going on in the world.

perhaps i'm being to harsh? if we actually listen to the history of some of these places we might manage to stir ourselves from our consummerisitic money mindset. education is truth, and traveling is definitely education. i quess it just depends which bits of truth you want to learn. some are much easier to swallow than others.