sleepy

Tired, her eyelids sway up and down like tiny tides. The magpies carol. Open. Mummy breathes. Close. A dog barks. Open. She rolls over. Close. The fan swirls. Open. Snuggle into mummy. Close. She drinks deeply. I'm not sure where I finish and she begins. Her hands glide like star fish on my skin. Silky skin on skin. And finally the caroling magpies, the distant barking dog and the swirling fan move into one lullaby and Danika falls asleep.

currently reading...

irresistible revolution by shane claireborne and the memory keeper's daughter by kim edwards. both brilliant (so far, only half way through).

i have decided to read more fiction. i love reading because it keeps my brain active and makes me feel smart (compared to TV which makes me feel dumb) but reading to much non-fiction gives me all these logical arguments and prepositions which reinforce what i already believe (even when i disagree with the author, i still become more clear of my argument) and i'm not sure i want to be all that certain of my logical arguments and prepositions.

good novels give me a sense of awe, mystery, empathy and compassion. these things are more important to me than clarity of mind.

hospital visit

danika just had her first visit to hospital...because her daddy sliced his finger on the lawn mower and needed stitches. she didn't like it much. neither did daddy.

i have three homes;

my body
my house
my planet

danika stumbled her first few steps tonight. she thinks she's the cleverest thing in the whole world.

Grandad's memorial today. sad. healthy sad. there was a photo of Grandad and Grandma cutting their wedding cake. Grandma's wedding dress was made out off fabric from 'coupons' and a lace curtain. she looked beautiful. she is beautiful. she started life as an orphan and ends it as a widow.

my grandad died last night. he was 80.

sheila kitzinger

"When she becomes a mother, it is as if a woman must go deep into the bowels of the earth, back to the elemental emotions and the power which makes life possible, losing herself in the darkness. She is like Eurydice int the Underworld. She is pulled away from a world of choices, plans and schedules, where time is kept, spaces cleared, commitments made, and goals attained to the warm chaos of love, confusion, longing, anger, self-surrender and intense pleasure that mothering entails."

2007

new years eve
sitting at home, having a quiet one.

somehow the most significant year of our life so far doesn't need a big night out to mark it's end.

i watched darkness fall on 2007 from danika's bedroom as she fell asleep in my arms. i never new Life could be so deeply satisfying.

God Bless for 2008
Love charlotte x

danika is on the move.