2007

new years eve
sitting at home, having a quiet one.

somehow the most significant year of our life so far doesn't need a big night out to mark it's end.

i watched darkness fall on 2007 from danika's bedroom as she fell asleep in my arms. i never new Life could be so deeply satisfying.

God Bless for 2008
Love charlotte x

danika is on the move.

blooming

our parenting style is slowly unfolding, and it has an uncanny nack of revealing what we truly value. our hidden assumptions slowly come into the light. our fundamental beliefs about Christ, the bible and Truth are slowly exposed.

before Danika was born we were invited to do a parenting course.... "we did it and our kids are so compliant and well mannered."

'compliant'? 'well mannered'? slight cringe noticed somewhere inside myself. there's nothing wrong with those two things per say, they're just not exactly the two adjectives i would use to advertise a parenting course.

i guess when i imagine what i want for dani's life those two are not that high up on the list... they are on the list, but just not that high up.

so what words would i pick to advertise a parenting course??? courage? passion? empathy?

i can feel my perception of Christ influencing this. The Christ of our imaginations are always all of our favourite qualities rolled into one, one man, one symbol.

i imagine jesus to be this brave dare devil, who is absolutely gorgeous and kind and loving but didn't give a rats arse if he offended the snobs. i imagine him to be completely fearless whilst still being emotionally vulnerable. he looks me in the eye and invites me into all sorts of adventures, not one of the least being birthing a child.

jesus - compliant? are you kidding me?

my distaste for compliance is one of the reasons i am (at the moment) unable to let dani cry when she wants a cuddle (even if it's 2am). the baby psychology books i've been reading reckon when a baby consistently expresses a need (physical, emotional or spiritual, and i think they are all the same thing to a baby anyway) and it is ignored, they cope by slowly deadening they acknowledgement of that need. they learn not to listen to their own bodies when they are hungry, or their own heart when they want love. maybe it's the 4 in me (enneagram), but having an internal moral compass and listening to my own heart is one of the most important things in the world.

and the new research (and lots of the old) is saying that babies who are responded to quickly, in the end cry less and are more content.

maybe the psychology books and the research is wrong and maybe i am actually creating a demanding little spoilt brat, but heck, i'll still love her even if no one else does, and at least i'll know i've done my best.

use your mind
but follow
your
heart.