Friday, April 29, 2005

anzac day

being anzac day this week i've been talking to the school kiddies about war, conscription, moral dilemmas and jesus

me: put your hand up if you think jesus would have gone to fight in a war

pause... 4 hands go up

me: put your hand up if you think jesus would have gone to prison instead of fighting

22 hands went up

me: put your hand up if you don't know

3 hands

me: to the children who think he would have fought, why?

kid: 'cause he always sticks up for little kids and he wouldn't want the baddies to get them.

another kid: but what about the german kids, jesus likes them. he wouldn't shoot their daddies.

another kid: but what about moses and the big sea. god killed his baddies. they would have had kids? What do you think miss?

um...siren goes...phew.

what do i think...still not sure - charlie

Thursday, April 28, 2005

for the record

i love jesus with all my heart and soul and mind. he is my rock, my life, my love my joy. he is my only hope. his spirit is the steel rod of my spine.


Tuesday, April 26, 2005

last night

slept under the stars. watched the moon fly. felt cold. felt hot. felt alive. what more can i ask for?


'i like your christ but i do not like your christians. your christians are so unlike your christ'

mahatma gandhi

(tar roo)

Sunday, April 24, 2005

the hard way

as some of you know i've recently been trying to shake of the evil tenticles of fast pace consumeristic style living.

did a bit of gardening last week. (thought i'd surprise the hubby with a new backyard when he got back from walpole.)

so i made my plans, set my goals, visualised the finished product, rolled up my sleeves and got cracking.

i was half way through clearing a patch of earth. i was quite proud of the rate i was working. i reached down and pulled out a weed and was about to chuck it in the bin when something in my spirit twigged.

i think god whispered 'stop'. i stopped.

i looked at the small green weed in my finger tips. it had white roots, three green leaves and a green stem. the bit where the roots turned into stem was all sorts of beautiful green colours. i paused for a few seconds and thought about how this little plant could suck up water from the ground. it was connected to the energy that sustains life. it could even use sunlight to photosynthesize and make chlorophyll that made it green. i was holding a little miracle. i gave the weed a little portion of respect and then placed it in the bucket.

that week turned into a big long "quiet time". as i cleared, planted, watered and patted the earth i felt god. it was light, fresh and happy. i somehow could see god all over the place, i didn't have to try, it was just so obvious.

and then sunday came. i kindoff wanted to keep gardening but i decided to go to 6pm church. at church i focused on the speakers, i leaned forward and furrowed by brow, i sang songs and forced my self to concentrate on the words. i couldn't feel god very much so i tried harder. i 'pressed in'. i tried to block out everything around me and just focus on god. i could hear someone up the front encouraging me "break through, don't let your self be distracted, press in to god's majesty".

i looked up at the painted ceiling and the dimmed electric lights. it occured to me that if there was no ceiling god's majesty would be undeniably obvious in the stars above and this whole process of worship could be much easier, in fact looking up at the stars might even make a heart of worship inescapable.

but i stayed standing next to my seat (i even went up the front for a bit) i kept trying and by gods grace i did manage to push through all the distractions and i eventually connected with him. i had persevered and i had worshiped. i left with a headache.

please do not interpret this blog as an critism of church services. i have no doubt that many people were blessed by that service (as i indeed eventually was). i'm just saying that maybe we sometimes do things the hard way. - charlie

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

all aboard

check out this post by amy. she captures so perfectly my feelings about where i find myself. i love church but, but, but...

Sunday, April 17, 2005

faith vs doubt

growing up i kind of unconsciously thought that doubt was the opposite of faith. over the years (particularly as a teenager) i questioned and doubted many elements of the 'rightness' of the christian culture that was presented to me. it was often assumed that my doubt was somehow connected to 'backsliding' or moving away from god.

i have never doubted christ. i have often doubted christianity. learning to differentiate the two has been my salvation.

don't you love it when someone else puts words to a sneaky suspision you have but are yet to define. this happened for me last night.

"faith that is not tested by doubt is a faith that leaves the individual vulnerable...doubt is the fire that purifies our faith. doubt burns up the hay, wood and stubble, leaving behind pure gold." - tony campolo

so i will continue to 'doubt' my version of christianty with the hope that my definition of christian will beome more and more like christ's definition of faith. - charlie

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

do not wait

'do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person' - mother teresa

Friday, April 08, 2005

furry angels

11pm. bed time. brush teeth. get changed. get a glass of water. turn kitchen light off. unfold dog blanket. pat dog. ask god's blessing on dog. go to bed.
you may think i'm a freak but i'm not the only one. check this out and for the record i've had over 4 deep spiritual conversations with non-churchy neighbours this week as a direct result of my brown fury four legged angel.
last year my dog ran away. she went to a neighbours house, silently opened the door and hopped in the bath tub with a 4 year old boy. fortunately that 4 year old liked dogs and didn't freak out. later that year his mum gave her life to the lord. - charlie

origin of life

bill bryson quotes matt ridley in his explanation of the origin of life, 'wherever you go in the world, whatever animal, plant, bug or blob you look at, if it is alive, it will use the same dictionary and know the same code. all life is one'. matt and bill are of course referring to the magical phenomena of genetic transfer which they seem to believe originated in one cell, not one god - sounds like an inaudible melody to me. - charlie

Monday, April 04, 2005

naina's story

check out this story about a girl living in a detention centre in our 'beautiful' state on roo-ster's blog.

Friday, April 01, 2005

people are watching...

As a general rule I tend not to worry too much about what others are thinking of me (often to my detriment!) I have been brought up to assume people like me unless they tell me other wise. I socialise under the assumption of acceptance (maybe it’s the primary school teacher in me).

However over the years a few people I respect have cautioned me, ‘people are watching and people will draw their own conclusion from the little snippets they see of your life. You have chosen to be a ‘leader’ and with that you are inviting people to look at your life.’

Maybe I shouldn’t go to pubs because people might think I love getting drunk? Maybe I shouldn’t hug male friends because people might think I’m a flirt. Maybe I shouldn’t drive fancy cars because people might think I’m materialistic. Maybe I should go to church 3 times a week or people might think I don’t love god?

There’s something about this line of thought that doesn’t quite sit right. It makes me look to my head instead of my spirit for issues of conscience.

Maybe I’m just not cut out to be a leader?