Wednesday, September 28, 2005


i remember learning about God being omni present in sunday school. that meant that he was everywhere at once all the time. i assumed i was suppose to take it literally...

but then i learnt that non-christians didn't have god inside them,
and normal things like food and pillows and tv didn't have god inside them (but maybe the occasional demon)
and then i learnt that bad things like porn movies couldn't possibly have god inside them,
and for that matter dogs and cats and other bits of boring nature probably didn't have god inside them either

which left me seriously questioning what exactly 'omnipresent' actually meant.

about six months ago i read Bill Bryson's short history of just about everything (science book). he talked about the structure of the atom and how all atoms in all the universe, not matter what their role or function, no matter if they are liquid, solid or gas, alive or 'dead', all atoms dance to the same cosmic energy. their electrons whizz around blatantly defying the laws of physics. hmmm. i wondered if perhaps god was behind this mystery.

'one of the most wonderful metaphors in jewish mysticism is the teaching on the Shekinah (god's glory). The Shekiah takes the form of a woman and usualy plays God's wife, but she is in exile. God and his glory have been tragically separated through the fall. the separation is one of a cosmic crash in which god's glory was scattered into a myraid of sparks and caught up in all created matter. the holy sparks are now imprisoned in all things. even the lowest of created things have the holy sparks in them.

the remarkable aspect of this jewish teaching is the view that it is our holy actions that actually free the holy sparks ensnared in all things allowing the exiled Shekinah to journey back to God. God and his glory are joined together when people act in holiness. says martin buber, "the Shekinah is banished into concealment; it lies, tied, at the bottom of every thing, and it is redeemed in every thing by man, who, by his own vision or deed, liberates the thing's soul." ' (paraphrased from the shaping of things to come)

so surely to the scientist, the jewish mysticist, even the christian, this is a divine universe.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

There are those who seek knowledge for the sake of knowledge
- that is curiosity

There are those who seek knowledge to be known by others
- that is vanity

There are those who seek knowledge in order to serve
- that is love.

Saturday, September 17, 2005


breathe deeply my child, breathe deeply
Lord, i don't deserve you
breathe deeply my child, breathe deeply, let me bring your soul to still
listen, listen to the sound of life
the unheard tune
i will open your ears and you will dance to the song
the inaudible melody that is hidden,
hidden in pain, hidden in suffering, hidden in love, hidden in courage.
eyes on me and you will dance to it's tune.
breathe in, breathe out, be still. listen. wait. hear. move. dance. fight.
salvation is here
He is here in each breath.
breathe in, breathe out, be still.


Friday, September 09, 2005

5 days later

5 days later and i have finshed reading Ishmael. my goodness - it has been a journey. my head spins with the clarity of new perspective. it would seem that at this point i am lost for words....... (pause)........ this book has connected with my believe system at so many levels. it has given me a whole new lens through which to read genesis. it quoted my favourite bible passage (matt 6) and affirmed my assumptions. it has given me a whole new context in my quest for living simply. it has articulated uncomprehensible memorings of my spirit. it has helped me rewrite the story that i enact each day.

5 days later and common sense has one again changed.

Monday, September 05, 2005

went fishing with hubby saturday night and rolled my ankle. feeling like a bit of a wombat. we were on the rocks at ocean reef marina. i'll just give you a moment to visualise the problem. me, case and dog out on the rocks with all the fishing gear. i can't put any weight on my left foot. it's getting dark and we need to get back to the car.

option one: i crawl back over the rocks using one leg, one butt and one hand (other hand was cut surfing this morning). estimated time to get back to the car - 5 hours. (we tried this and gave up after 10 minutes)

option two: hubby chucks me in the water and makes me swim back to the beach. estimated time back to the car - 12 minutes. (this was hubbies preferred option but i refused because it was dark and cold and we had just been trying to catch fish in there!)

option three: hubby piggie backs me over the rocks and skinny wooden plank. estimated time back to car - 1 hour.

after much debate (with a pack of unused frozen mullies on my foot) we went with option three. i have never been so grateful that my husband is build like a staffordshire bull terrier.

it was an unforgetable moment in our marriage. casey scrambling over the rocks, often on all fours, with me on his back. all i could do was cling on tight. he wasn't wearing the best shoes for the occasion but i managed to contain my nervousness to a few incomprehensible squeals.

thank - you honey. you are my rock.

Saturday, September 03, 2005


for the last few months i have been aiming to read a gospel a week. this small discipline is making the roots of my faith grow quicker than ever before.

just watched Luther.

apparently he was the first man to translate the gospels into the language for the everday person. he took enormous flack for 'disempowering' the church and putting the gospel back into the hands of the people.

my gratitude to this man runs deep.


i have just finished reading the first chapter of a new book and i have the sense that this book is going to have a profound impact upon me. the book is called Ishmael. It is a narrative written by daniel quinn. it seems to be about the dialogue between a man and a gorilla. (sounds a bit wacko i know, but by the end of the first chapter i am lost in the book and accepting it's realities.)

the thought in this quote plays in my mind...

"Once when i was in college...i wrote a paper for a philosophy class. i don't remember exactly what the assignment was-something to do with epistemology. here's what it said in the paper, roughly: Guess what? The Nazis didn't lose the war after all. They won it and flourished. They took over the world and wiped out every last Jew, every last Gypsy, black, East Indian, and American Indian. Then when they were finished with that, they wiped out the Russians and the Poles and the Bohemians... This took a long, long time and when it was over, everyone in the world was one hundred percent Aryan, and they were all very, very happy.

Naturally the textbooks used in the school no longer mentioned any race but the Aryan or any language but German or any religion but Hitlerism or any political system but National Socialism. There would have been no point. After a few generations of that, no one could have put anything different into the textbooks even if they'd wanted to, because they didn't know any different.

But one day two young students were conversing at the University of New Heidelberg in Tokyo. Both were handsome in the usual Aryan way, but one of them looked vaguely worried and unhappy. That was Kurt. His friend said, 'What's wrong Kurt? Why are you always moping around like this?' Kurt said, 'I'll tell you, Hans. There is something that's troubling me-and troubling me deeply.' his friend asked what it was. 'it is this,' Kurt said. " i can't shake the crazy feeling that there is some small thing that we're being lied to about.'

And that is how the paper ended."
me and one of my gorgeous work buddies went to 2 maths professional development day this week lead by charles lovitt. the current trend in the teaching of mathematics to get kids understanding what numbers are, problem solving, logical reasoning and using their common sense. sounds good hey? but it wasn't always the way 'good' maths teachers taught. there used to be a far bigger focus on simply getting the right answer, even if the kid had no idea why it was right. there's also a far bigger focus these days on helping kids enjoy maths and feel successful. reasearch shows there's a huge correlation between how kids feel about maths and their success rate. no teachers wants to set a kid up to fail.

most maths teachers these days would say they embrace and teach according to the new philosophy. but it's interesting how much old school philosophy is held onto and percieved as foundational, essential and 'obvious'.

for instance everyone knows that the area of a circle (pi r2) is taught in year 8. if it wasn't taught in year 8 the teacher would be considered irresponsible, ignorant and maybe even lazy. among the teaching world it is 'common sense' that pi r2 is taught in y8.

'fair enough' i thought and then charles lovitt asked us why? who decided it should be taught in year 8 and what were their reasons.

interestingly enough the maths curriculum that our current curriculum is based on was written in 1913. the purpose of the curriculum was to 'weed' out incompetence so that only around 15% of kids would succeed and make it through the curriculum and be able to get into the university of new south wales. the curriculum had failure purposefully built into it to ensure mathematics remained an elitest subject. pi r2 was originally taught to 16 year olds but too many of them could understand it at that age so it was pushed down to 13 so that more would fail and drop out.

so we have good responible teachers who really want their kids to succeed, teaching stuff which is beyond their students because of 'common sense.'

what else am I taking for granted today as 'common sense'?
just went surfing...
case reckons it's was in his 5 all time worst surfs ever and i managed to cut my stomach through my wettie.
oh well.
it's still a beautiful day and i still have a strange sense of optimism.
i breathe in, i breathe out... stillness. i breathe in, i breathe out...

He has brought me to still. He has brought me to life.

it is the thrid morning of spring... and i have a strange feeling of optimism.