i'm looking up at the surface of the ocean metres above my head. daylight twinkles. the sun looks warm. i remember needing air. darkness below, light above. i look to the light. i'm still, suspended between worlds. i remember needing air. now there's just a calmness in my lungs. a deathly calmness.

tomorrow morning a plane flies away. it takes with it so much of my joy, my laughter, my inspiration, my two best friends. i let go. i sink.